As a parent there are so many conversations that we gear ourselves up for but it doesn’t make them any easier to actually get the words out, to word them in an age appropriate way depending on when our children ask them.
Emmy has already become curious as to where babies come from, as a C-section Mum twice over it is currently easy to show her my scars and she understands that Mummy had both her babies cut from her tummy, she has also started to ask how babies get into my tummy…but at the age of 7 I’m not quite touching on the birds and the bees just yet.
There are things I will talk to her about at this age – periods for instance, she comes into the toilet with me often still so there’s no hiding those, I have touched on the basics of how it is my bodies way of telling me there are no babies growing in my tummy and it happens every month, doesn’t mean I am dying and doesn’t really hurt other than a tummy ache.
Another topic which is becoming more focused in our household is body image and different body shapes. I have never made a point of covering up around the children, even now we still bath together and I wander around naked as does her Dad (we aren’t nudists but will walk from the bathroom to bedrooms naked or half naked), I think it is important not to be shy around the children and to teach them that everyone has a different body shape – I am happy to get changed in the communal areas of the swimming pool changing rooms and I would hope that she wouldn’t be shy when she grows up because it isn’t something she would have learnt from us.
I don’t really weigh myself and although I am making more of an effort to lose some weight I have never let the children see me worry about what I look like, I eat the same as them or salads, its never been a big deal in this household and I refuse to make an issue of if it as then one day they may follow suit.
According to this infographic from Which? the most common taboo topics to have with our parents include: Wills, Sex, Relationships, Death and finances….
I think we must actually be rather open in our conversations with the children as they have already witnessed us writing our wills and we have sat down with them and discussed what we were doing and what wills are and mean. They know that if something happened to both Paul and I that they will be looked after by their God Mum (my best friend and her husband), of course we hope this will never happen but having this already in place does provide reassurance for me.
Writing a will doesn’t actually have to be that scary and you can you an easy to use online tool to create a will in 30 minutes.
We have already have to sadly cover the topic of dying and death with the children too, sadly their Nan passed away in July 2015 and they were very close to her. We nursed her at home for 2 weeks before she sadly passed away, talking to the children about what was happening at the time and then a lot afterwards. This was extremely hard and Emmy suffered nightmares after and grieved very badly for her beloved Nanny. We worked closely with friends and family to involve the children, named a star after Nanny and have always talked about her whenever they want to.
Are there any topics you find hard to discuss with your children? Any you are dreading having to have?
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