People move to new homes for many varied reasons, but a big one would be related to their current house – it’s too small or too big, too expensive, too far from work or school – or they simply have the desire to own a better home or live in a better neighborhood. Home transfer could also be due to family reasons or a change in marital status, like moving with or separating from a partner, while others may be job related.
The idea of leaving an old home and moving to a new one may entail both stress and excitement as there is a handful of things to discuss and decide on. Probably the biggest decision is which type of house would fit the family – single v’s townhouse or tiny house vs RV – and when and where to move. The whole process will greatly impact the whole family but more so the younger ones. Children, especially middle schoolers, would often be the most affected emotionally. And this is something that parents should pay attention to.
Feeling of loss
Children tend to draw negative feelings when the family moves. The sense of belonging is cut off and worries about the loss of friends may take over. Moreso, moving to a new community may give them a strange feeling as newcomers as it would require them to learn a new set of social rules, as well as the need to adjust to a new school and classmates, new sports activities and organizations.
Help your children adjust to their new environment by positioning the positive aspects of moving to a new home. But prior to the move, emphasize possible changes that will occur and make them understand that there are new opportunities awaiting them in the new community.
Hear them out
Your children would ask questions, would also either feel sad or excited and would even tend to oppose leaving their bedroom, their friends and classmates. They would probably ask if there’s going to be a nice playground in the new place or if they could come back to visit friends in the previous home.
As mentioned above, tell your children about the possible changes to occur ahead of time, and don’t be surprised to see different reactions from them. However, regardless how they would react to the idea, acknowledge any feeling and remark from them and never fail to answer questions.
Take them with you
You may be doing a few onsite visits before the final event happens to check construction progress or renovations. Usually, parents would only be the ones who do preliminary visits to new homes, but doing so may leave your children feeling strange and burdened with a lot of questions.
Help them cope with the transition by taking them with you during onsite visits. Drive them along the new school route, around the community, and to the nearest grocery store. Find things that your children would be excited about in the new home, like having their own rooms, a book nook or wider lawn to play with their pet dogs.
Lastly, become involved in the new community as a family, but never cut ties with the old one.
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we have recently moved to a bigger house, its about 20 mins away from our old house, so have decided to keep our 6 year old at the same school to help with the transition. we were moving due to our youngest 18month old needing her own bedroom. My 6 year old came with us on the viewing and got to see her new bedroom, and she seemed quite happy and excited, she was involved in all the packing of her toys and unpacking and finding new places for them in her new room – we thought all this would help her . now – 4 weeks in, shes not happy at all. always complaining the old house was better, as her room was a lot bigger in the old house, but trying to explain that we now have a dining room/conservatory, and another bedroom for her little sister, she just keeps saying the house is smaller :-(. daft things, like – we had better food in the old house???? , we had this or that better in the old house. The new school run is a 2hr round trip for me and my youngest on the bus in bad traffic, to keep my 6year old in her normal school routine, its been really tough (especially in this heatwave) but there just doesnt seem to be anything i can do to make her understand this house is better for us as a family. hopefully things will improve with time. this post was an interesting read .Thank you. x
Oh bless you. It’s so hard for children isn’t it. The ones we think would cope well sometimes don’t and vice versa.
Hopefully they settle into a new routine and enjoy the house soon.
Let them help get their room as they want…..if you can it may help a little