Looking around the playground there are smiles all around me.
Laughter and happy tales but behind those painted smiles are tired and broken people
The kids didn’t sleep I know because you posted last night on social media, then again this morning stating how many times they had you up.
I do the same myself. My children tag team at times and I now can’t remember the last time I had a full nights sleep.
I post this too then smile in the playground as if nothing has happened.
The thing is its part of what we signed up for when becoming parents. They don’t come with hand books or rules or even instructions. They are all different so we fell we should just smile and get on with it and paint on a smile when times are tough.
But what happens when there are worse things going on in our lives…the children not sleeping is the least of your problems but we tend not to talk of those things either do we?
Why?
Because we’ve trained ourselves not to overshare.
Not to talk of our problems in public
This is why we walk around with painted smiles on our faces and the pre-programmed words “I’m fine”.
When did sharing your feelings become so wrong, when did it start being taboo?
We spend our lives teaching our children right from wrong, urging them to open up and share their day, their troubles and their feelings
But, we don’t do this ourselves
Children cry if they are in pain
They cry if they are hurt
They scream and stamp their feet just because they can – to release their frustrations
But we don’t do this as adults
Instead we hold it all inside
We bottle it up
And we don’t talk
We walk around with a faux painted smile on our faces when people are around, and convince ourselves that ‘we really are fine’
So, next time you see a friend smiling try looking behind that smile, try looking into their eyes – do they say “I’m fine” a little too quickly?
We all need to read between the lines a little – you may have a friend who is so used to painting on their smile that they’ve forgotten how not to.
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Clare
Hi, I'm Clare (Emmy's Mummy). A former Nanny and Mother of 2 - Emmy (born February 2010) and Harry (born October 2012). We are Essex based and share our adventures and misadventures of a busy crazy life.
Comments (10)
I guess everyone feels like this sometimes, maybe that’s a reason why everyone should be abit more honest about it.
Needed to read this today. Had the worst day and when a work ate asked if I was sure I was ok I just said yeah and got on with it. It’s so hard sometimes.
I think people don’t want to burden others with their problems so stay closed, but good friends don’t find it a burden and you’re right we should try to open up more.
Yes I think we all do this. I’m aware of the whole you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors type of thing when I think someone has a perfect life. They might not. This is the same thing isn’t it? My worry is that people will start to gossip. Not in a mean way but things get said and I don’t want the whole world to know my business so I’d rather not open up sometimes! x
I am very much the same and have very few people I actually would open up to for this reason
This is so true, I’ve found with blogging when I do perhaps write a more ‘candid’ post – people will come up to me in the playground and ask what’s happened? It’s is as if they can’t believe that I indeed feel that way because I’m always smiling…
I do worry about opening up to new people – it’s sometimes painful to talk about things that make me sad. But you’re right, it’s important to let others know how you feel.
It’s true that it can be hard to ask for help when we need, but if you have someone who cares enough to ask after you, we should try to let them in a bit and say what is going on. I hope that YOU are ok Clare, and that this post has gotten something off your chest? If you ever want to anonymous rant, pitch me a post for the BritMums blog and I can take a look! Warm hugs x
Thank you hun. I may just do that soon x
I always say ‘I’m fine’ when I’m not. Sometimes, in our busy lives we just take that answer without really looking at the person. So really we shouldn’t ask someone how they are if we don’t really care, as we never expect the answer to be ‘No I’m not fine’ X
I guess everyone feels like this sometimes, maybe that’s a reason why everyone should be abit more honest about it.
Needed to read this today. Had the worst day and when a work ate asked if I was sure I was ok I just said yeah and got on with it. It’s so hard sometimes.
I think people don’t want to burden others with their problems so stay closed, but good friends don’t find it a burden and you’re right we should try to open up more.
Yes I think we all do this. I’m aware of the whole you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors type of thing when I think someone has a perfect life. They might not. This is the same thing isn’t it? My worry is that people will start to gossip. Not in a mean way but things get said and I don’t want the whole world to know my business so I’d rather not open up sometimes! x
I am very much the same and have very few people I actually would open up to for this reason
This is so true, I’ve found with blogging when I do perhaps write a more ‘candid’ post – people will come up to me in the playground and ask what’s happened? It’s is as if they can’t believe that I indeed feel that way because I’m always smiling…
I do worry about opening up to new people – it’s sometimes painful to talk about things that make me sad. But you’re right, it’s important to let others know how you feel.
It’s true that it can be hard to ask for help when we need, but if you have someone who cares enough to ask after you, we should try to let them in a bit and say what is going on. I hope that YOU are ok Clare, and that this post has gotten something off your chest? If you ever want to anonymous rant, pitch me a post for the BritMums blog and I can take a look! Warm hugs x
Thank you hun.
I may just do that soon x
I always say ‘I’m fine’ when I’m not. Sometimes, in our busy lives we just take that answer without really looking at the person. So really we shouldn’t ask someone how they are if we don’t really care, as we never expect the answer to be ‘No I’m not fine’
X