This is something I have briefly mentioned in a post called 10 things you didn’t know about me, it is something I am very open about and quite happy to talk about – to friends, family and even strangers! I believe that Miscarriage should NOT be a Taboo subject.
So here is my story:
Miscarriage 1: (2005) – I wasn’t trying for a baby, Paul and I were living together and were engaged however we were both very busy working hard to pay for our wedding in 2007. I started bleeding one evening mid-cycle (my periods have often been all over the shop and I was on the pill so thought nothing of it) however this wasn’t normal bleeding, this was something different and during the course of the evening became unbearable – so much so that by the following morning I took myself to a & e (something I have never done before). A pregnancy test was done – Positive. I had no idea. While they were trying to book me in for an early scan at the EPU (Early pregnancy unit) I had a very heavy bleed and was told that it really wasn’t looking good. I had bloods done over the course of a few days and my HGC levels fell – I didn’t end up having that scan as a few days later the home pregnancy test said Negative.
Miscarriage 2: Paul and I had gotten Married by this point, I came off the pill and we started trying for a baby. We had put the 1st miscarriage behind us so to speak and were moving on. Not long after coming off the pill I was pregnant. We were excited and told a few people as you do – only to days later at 6 weeks pregnant start bleeding again. We went to the doctors and were told to wait and see! I was devastated when a few days later the pregnancy test once again said negative.
Miscarriage 3: This one was entirely different – sickness kicked in straight away when I fell pregnant once again for the 3rd time, we had an early scan at 5ish weeks and saw a sac and the beginnings of a fetal pole and was scanned again at 7 weeks as my previous mc’s had been around 6 weeks, we were delighted when at 7 weeks we saw a heartbeat and told our chances of miscarriage had greatly reduced – over joyed we told everyone. We were so excited. When our 12 week scan came around everyone knew it was happening – then dread started to kick in for some reason, panic and fear. All to be proved right, I was actually still pregnant but had suffered a Missed Miscarriage – my perfect baby stopped growing at 9.5weeks, it’s little heart had stopped but but body still thought I was pregnant so had clung to this much wanted baby. I still had pregnacy symptoms – sore boobs, tiredness and sickness, life was just too cruel. I was made to wait in a room with pregnant women while I waited to see a consultant – I cried non-stop for around 3 hours, then had to wait upstairs to have bloods taken in floods of tears with pregnant women all around me, no side room to disappear into or a hole to swallow me up. A few days later I was booked in for an ERPC (evacuation of retained products of conception) done und a general anesthetic.
I was then refered to a recurrent miscarrige specialist at my local hospital, who was fantastic, caring and so supportive but also limited in what he could do. I had numerous blood test, then some more and even more after that, many internal scans, then Paul had blood test as well. All tests came back normal with nothing else they could do – he did refer me to St. Mary’s in Paddington – the biggest and best hospital for recurrent miscarriage, however I once again fell pregnant and they will not see you when pregnant, so he cared for me during the whole of my pregnancy with Emmy. 4th time lucky with fantastic care, fortnightly scans and 75mg asprin daily until 38 weeks.
Why am I telling you all this? Simply because Miscarriage care needs to be improved – my experience wasn’t too bad compared to many other stories I have heard but something must be done. It’s not a Taboo issue – it happens every single day.
I would love you to help. Please read Mumsnet campaign for better miscarriage care and here is how you can help:
- Email your MP to ask him or her to sign the Early Day Motion
- Email Andrew Lansley, secretary of state for health, to let him know that you want the government to act on miscarriage care
- Email your local paper – challenge your local hospitals and trusts to get involved
- Contact the maternity services liaison committee of your NHS Primary Care Trust
- Share this on your Facebook page, if you have one, and tweet about our campaign with hashtag #miscarriagecare
To make all of this as painless as possible here are some resources – widgets, draft letters to help you.