6 ways to combat loneliness

**Collaborative post**

There are 2 certainties in life, you are born and you die. What happens in between those two is different for everyone.

We would like to think that we would all be happy, healthy and surrounded by friends and family. That’s true for many of us but not everyone and even those who do have a loving family around them find that they have their own lives to live and are unable to visit as often as they would like to, either due to distance or their own commitments.

I personally find that I do tend to feel lonely at times, even though I am surrounded by my family and have a handful of lovely and close friends to turn to. The thing is, we do all have our own lives and once I became a Mum it changed the dynamics of many friendships. I no longer partied all weekend, dropping anything for a call to go out to dinner or to head to the pub, holidays had to be planned and were no longer spontaneous and of course, I stopped working as a Nanny and registered as self-employed working for myself from home.

Working from home itself can be rather lonely, with no actual people to chat to throughout the day then just the children for company after school until Paul gets home from work. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it for the world but I do miss having an actual conversation with someone other than the kids, who just grunt when asked how their day at school was.

The thing about loneliness is that you could also be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Sometimes talking to a professional such as using an online therapist can be beneficial to you, and is one of the fabulous services that sites like BetterHelp and ReGain offer.

Here are a few ways to help combat loneliness:

Hire an office space

For those of us who work from home, it can become rather boring staring at the same walls all day long, and if you are also like me you may become distracted easily. There are always jobs around the home which need doing so it’s far to easy to just try to multi-task which distracts from the work which needs doing.

Today alone I have done two loads of washing, washed up and stripped the beds. Jobs which all need doing but could have waited until I had finished working.

By hiring a desk in a spared office it would remove those distractions meaning I certainly should be far more productive, and it also provides the opportunity to interact with others throughout the day, even if it’s to ask if they want a cuppa as you head to the staff room.

Connect with others who work from home

Find someone else locally who works from home and take it in turns to host a workday at your house.

You can both set up your laptops at the kitchen table, bat a few ideas off each other, compile a to-do-list and help each other to work through it.

Sometimes, seeing how productive someone else is being makes you work a little harder and the company is an added bonus.

Throw coffee and cakes into the mix and everyone is happy.

Social Media or online games

If you don’t have a huge friend circle around you living close by, it can be a perfect way of keeping in touch with them, talking to them via messenger and looking through their photos.

Of course, when they aren’t there at the same time talking with you it can become rather anti-social at times but what about scheduling in Facetime with your friends, or skyping them. This way you can see them while you are chatting with them and it becomes more of a two-way interaction.

Social media is also a great way of discovering events locally to you. Join a local facebook group and you’ll not miss out on when the town hall meetings are, when the mobile library will next visit or when the town fayre etc. is next on. Another idea is online games you can find free ones, play over zoom with friends or even have a family quiz night, you can even try your hand at Bingo with such sites such as https://www.bingoleader.net

Join a club

If you have a hobby such as knitting, golf or even reading why not get together with likeminded people who share your interests.

My mum loves to knit and every Wednesday gets together in the local pub with likeminded friends for a ‘Stitch and bitch’ evening. They share their latest crafts, patterns, arrange to go to wool and craft fayres together but mainly they meet up and chat.

You could start your own book club, meeting up to discuss the latest book you’ve all read, organise to all read the same then discuss what you liked and didn’t and generally natter the evening/afternoon away with people who share your interests.

Go for a walk

If you have a dog, why not head out on a walk together. It is amazing just how many people you actually meet and talk to when out and about.

When we had Barney, we would regularly meet up with other dog owners and walk the dogs together. The animals would all play together and us owners would chat.

I always found we would be out far longer when we walked with others as it’s fun having a chat and watching the animals playing together, with the added bonus they would sleep well after.

If you don’t have a pet, hiking is also a fun activity and you will be amazed at how many people will stop and chat with you, maybe take a friend and go together – not only are you then keeping fit but it gives you a great chance to catch up without the distractions.

Volunteer

There are lots of places who are always looking for volunteers.

You could go into the school as a parent helper, listening to the children read or helping with crafts.

Day centres for the elderly are always looking for extra hands to help out, I used to do this after my Grandad passed away. He used to go to a centre where he was picked up on the bus and they would do various activities. After he passed, I volunteered as part of my college course, helping to set up the bingo games, serving lunches etc. It was lots of fun and I met some wonderful people.

Care homes also are a great place to help out, not every resident has family locally or at all so a friendly face is always welcomed. Why not go and read with some of the residence or even just go for a chat. Everyone likes to have someone to talk to.