Today’s guest post on Teen Friendships is from well-being author and psychotherapist Becky Goddard -Hill. Here she shares an extract from her brand new book Be Confident Be You – a teenage guide to confidence. In this extract, Becky guides teens to nurture their friendships and develop their circle.
Friendship
The only way to have a friend is to be one. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Researchers have found that teens who had close friends in high school have higher self-worth and lower anxiety as adults compared to teens who had been popular!
Popularity isn’t important but close friends are, so here are some great ways to up your friendship game.
Think of friends like plants
Don’t take old friendships for granted and just focus on shiny new ones. Friendships need to be treated like plants. They require a little sunshine, nurturing and attention in order to flourish. Neglect them and they just wither away.
Appreciate differences
Friends do not have to look like, think or behave like you. Be open-minded about who you are friends with. People who are different from yourself can be interesting, challenging and inspiring.
Head for the warm people
Head for the people who feel like sunshine, those who are warm, open and welcoming. Being warm is so much more important than being cool. Be confident in your friendship groups and avoid ones where you are on edge or worry about fitting in.
Manage your expectations
No single friend is going to meet all your friendship needs so don’t expect them too. Some friends are funny, others are great listeners and some are practical. Appreciate them for what they offer rather than be disappointed in what they don’t.
Perfectionism
You aren’t perfect and neither are they, they are human and some days won’t be their best. Don’t write of a friendship for that. Be compassionate and empathetic and your friends will reflect that back when you aren’t at your best (and try to sort any problems quickly and between yourselves, it makes life less dramatic and uncomfortable for everyone!)
Social media
Be careful what you say about your friends on social media – you might think you’re talking in confidence to someone but a screen-grab and a share take moments. A rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t write it behind their back.
Find your tribe
As you explore your identity and home in on your hobbies you might feel it is time to make some new friends who are in tune with who you are now. Perhaps try a climbing school, an LGBTQ social group or a reading group to make like-minded friends. It’s good to have someone by your side who shares your interests.
Effort
You need to put your friendship into action through kindness, loyalty, time, effort, support, and encouragement and reaching out in good times and in bad. Friendship requires both action and effort.
Activity – reach out
Investing in your friendships pays off so today…
- Contact a friend and compliment them
- Contact another friend and encourage them
- Contact a third friend and just ask them how they are
Friendships are worth the investment!
Be Confident Be You looks at a host of issues facing teens today and is packed full of top tips – it is out now!
Related Posts:
Discover more from Emmy's Mummy
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
