As a mum, a lot of my adult friends are parents too. That’s just the way things work out, and I’m sure most mothers reading this can relate. I bet another thing you can relate to is the feelings of guilt surrounding your parent.
Nobody is perfect, and we all have some regrets. I thought this would make an interesting topic, and after speaking to some of my girls, have compiled a list of the common issues. I hope they will help you avoid similar problems.
No.5: “Not Doing Enough For Me”
When you’re a mum, you naturally put your son or daughter first at all times. That’s natural and perfectly normal. However, a lot of my friends expressed the feeling of not having enough self-appreciation. From failing to take precautions when kids spread germs to losing contact with a friend, those elements can play on the mind. While your child always comes first, there’s nothing wrong with making time for yourself too. Even if it’s just creating time for a hobby.
No.4: “Paying Too Much Attention To Experts”
Parents have access to a wealth of knowledge that previous generations didn’t, and in many ways this is brilliant. I’d like to think that even a blog post like this can provide a little comfort. However, it can go the extreme with experts telling us the dos and don’ts of virtually all aspects. While many parenting resources are useful, there are times where the information gets too much. Your parents got by without the plethora of data, and you turned out fine. Essentially, the maternal instincts will see you through.
No.3: “Scrutinising Myself”
On a similar note, a lot of the mums with older children reflect on those early years and realise that they were far too harsh on themselves. Everyone makes mistakes as a parent, but the truth is you’re probably doing just fine. Mentality and self-confidence are vital factors. Try keeping a diary or reciting positive thoughts on a daily basis. Seriously, you’ll be amazed at how quickly those perceived mishaps gain perspective.
No.2: “Not Capturing Those Magic Moments”
The early years of a child’s life are a magical time, but you’ll never get them back. Therefore, the least you can do is have the memories to keep you happy for years to come. The amount of mums that show regret for not keeping baby diaries, having family photo shoots, and creating keepsakes is incredible. In the grand scheme of things, it probably isn’t as big an issue as your child’s health and happiness are the priorities. Still, having those physical memories is highly rewarding.
No.1: “Not Being There To Enjoy It To The Full”
As a modern mum, parenting isn’t your only job role. Many women need to support the family’s finances, and that’s just a way of the world. However, there’s nothing worse than missing out on those milestones. First and foremost, you should understand the legal entitlements for maternity pay. Secondly, though, you should try to reach an agreement where you can either work at home or enjoy a sense of flexibility. Your career is important, but being a mum is number one. Do not forget it.